New Age Dating

Dating is exhausting. Trying to find a person that its decent enough for you to try to have a relationship with, is a fulltime job.  As a woman, its sometimes very overwhelming. I created a profile on several dating sites, and within few hours, I had way too many messages. I was instantly overwhelming. Half of them did not read my profile. I put something in the middle of my biography that there were supposed to put on the subject, that let me know they actually took the time to read.
There were some decent guys, there were some creeps, there were all kinds of guys. It is a very hard way to make selections. Too many messages to address.  I can tell a lot of them just clicked on my picture and liked it, and move on. Or said they wanted to meet but no real conversations. I clicked on a couple and read some interesting profiles. I talked to a few of the guys. Some immediately, wanted more pictures. Some were interested in me personally, but then asked for revealing pictures. I am not sure what are the qualifications for a woman to date.
I am very comfortable with my body, and personality. So it was not issue for me to show a little more skin. However, there to many demands. Show me this, show me that, there is nothing to leave for the imagination.  Everyone is so shallow.
I dated a person from a site I fell in love with. We had an awesome relationship until he decided he preferred to deal with his issues alone, then to share them with me. I was left confused. I often question if it was me, which he assured me, it wasn’t me, it was him. (typical) He is not a bad guy, and nothing about us breaking up made sense. So after many tries, I gave up. We decided to remain friends. So I hit the Internet again.
I have been lied, guys say they are single, then they have families and girls living at home, others, are simply only after one thing and some have these high standards and weird questions. I starting to believe that dating offline will be best. That get to know someone every day, until you fall in love, share your time and experiences, until you cannot stop thinking about each other.
Whatever happened if you saw a girl, you smiled, and talk to her. Nowadays guys are too shy, or scared to do that. There is nothing wrong on asking a girl if she is single or not, if you find her attractive, and she is alone, and wearing no ring, sure say hi, smile and ask… I would do the same.
Online dating, is a game changer indeed. It allows shy people that otherwise wouldn’t talk to you in person to talk to you, however its full of complications, and for a person with severe anxiety, ADHD and depression, I don’t think is the best outlet, unless you have a lot of time on your hands to really go on many dates and find someone.
Before my last relationship, I think I went on over 10 dates before I met a decent guy, and even then, apparently we were not right for each other.  Do not get me wrong, I have made good male friends along the way, not everyone you meet online wants just sex. There are truly amazing people, that you can connect even if doesn’t end up in a relationship. You just never know what the future might bring.
Building a strong relationship should always start with friendship, then trust and devotion. Then finally in love.
Have fun dating, whether is online or in person.

I am going crazy Baby (song) by Carmen Scott

I am going crazy Baby

Baby, you have my heart

I can’t think of being without you

I am going crazy, hurt

Why won’t you let me in

We belong together

Being without you is not an option

You are my true love

I think about you even when I’m not conscious

I know you love me

Just let me in

My life has no meaning

If you are not in it

Baby, you have my heart

I can’t think of being without you

I am going crazy, hurt

Why won’t you let me in

You can’t imagine the pain I feel

I miss your lips, your hugs, your eyes

When you are not around

I hear your voice call me aloud

I see you in my dreams,

I pray that I can be strong to survive

I cannot take see you go

Please don’t say good bye

Baby, you have my heart

I can’t think of being without you

I am going crazy, hurt

Why won’t you let me in

I know it has been hard

Your dreams are mine

I can die, if you aren’t by my side

I can mend your heart

Baby, you have my heart

I can’t think of being without you

I am going crazy, hurt

Why won’t you let me in

Please let me in, let me shower with your tears, I will wipe them, I will make them mine….

Copyright and Rights Reserved to Carmen Scott (c) 2016 

Valentine’s Day 2016

Valentine’s day has become so commercialized and focused on who gets the biggest gift, that for me is almost not worth celebrating it. For me, Valentine’s day is every day I can do something nice for my significant other. If I can but those socks he needs, or just bring him that chocolate he has been craving to work and make his day; that for me is celebrating our friendship and love. I am not expecting nor want a big teddy bear (I hate teddy bears) nor I want a huge stuff animal, I don’t want expensive gifts, just something that came from the heart and something he has put some thought into it. Flowers die, Chocolates make me fat (except my favorite ones, <cough>) and jewelry is very expensive.

My suggestions, make Valentine’s day and every day thing. If you really want to express your love more than usual this day, then here are my suggestions;

· Got to the place ya’ll first met

· Get their favorite candy, go to the dollar store grab a few boxes and put them on a $1 baggie with a love note

· Rent a movie you both want to watch and lay in bed holding each other

· Write a cliché letter to each other

· Draw them a picture

· Color something and dedicate them to them

· Karaoke your favorite song to them

· Sit and watch the sunset while eating your favorite desert.

· Go on a walk together, it’s good for the heart

If you must buy jewelry let me let you in on some secrets. Stainless Steel it is stronger than both Sterling silver and gold, and its more durable, it doesn’t tarnish, scratches are less visible and best of all, its SUPER cheap! Nowadays they make the cutest jewelry in stainless steel. Diamonds, can you tell the difference between diamonds without taking them to a jeweler? I can put a $10 stainless steel ring with a crystal cut fake diamond next to a $1000-dollar white gold ring, and I can guarantee you won’t be able to tell the difference with the naked eye. I have always worn even for my wedding rings stainless steel, and people will swear my ex-spouse have spent thousands of dollars on my rings. Don’t break your wallet, and if they don’t appreciate the gesture, they don’t deserve anything at all.

Have fun, happy Valentine’s Day!

PS. I got some couple’s ring, stainless steel for $8 bucks each, I am currently wearing my music note stainless steel ring, which I will be switching when he accepts my promise ring, then some of favorite college football gear, like keychains and a sweater, and a bag full of his favorite candy. I also drew him a picture, made him handmade card, and decorated a box, so he can put random things on it. I am sure he will love it. Also, it came from the heart and I put a lot of thought into it, didn’t just went and got the most expensive thing and shoved it in his face.

Wait I am not done!

Cards, I am sorry Hallmark, but there are so expensive. But they also have great messages specially if you have no idea what to say. However, if you in a budget and can’t afford to buy a $8 card, make your own. If you aren’t artistic, print on, and use a nice message from son you both love or find a nice poem for free online.

Okay now you can go! I try to keep my post about 600 words or less, and I just cross that mark. =)



Love you guys!

Not Letting Go!

If you have been reading my blogs, you can tell that my mind is scattered. I think about everything, and most of the time I overthink topics. This one hits close to my heart and believe me, I’ve been thinking about it for days.
Have you ever loved someone so much, or think you love them so much, that you cannot let go? They can tell you straight to your face “I do not love you”. However, you love them so much that you don’t believe their words. Your heart aches and falls apart, to the point you will do anything for them to keep you by their side. You find in your head a reason why they don’t love you. You make excuses, to stay by their side. You feel so sick, so down, so terrible that you block what is reality. You cannot let them go. You feel like if you stay, you can help them, you can change them, you can be patient and maybe, just maybe, one day they will say “I love you”.
Just because you been there for everything, you have done anything and everything for them, that doesn’t mean they will ever love you. They might not ever say those words. They might never feel the same way. However, you decide to stay. You hold on tight for dear life, and stay by their side. Believe they need you more than you need them? In reality you need them more, because you are all alone in the world? Yes, that’s a question. Which one is it? Do you feel that lonely, that you won’t let them go even if they want you gone? Or do you think they can’t love you because they think no one can love them like you do?
There are many questions and scenarios I can think of. Begging to someone to keep you and give you a chance at love might sound degrading. Getting on your knees crying, saying that you don’t care if they love you or not, you will be there for them might sound desperate. When do you know its real love and not separation anxiety?
What is love? When does it become unconditional love? There is no bullying from either part, there is no violence, there is no malice. But for some reason, they think they cannot love you, and maybe they never will. What will you do? Do you make them realize, that they can’t tell the future and to give you a chance at love? Take a risk with you, what’s the worst that can happen? A year from now, you guys are the happiest couple, or just decide to go your separate ways. There is no way to tell the future.
If there is no one else in the picture, if you are happy, and enjoy time together, why not give it a chance? There is no reason, and no statement saying, that if he/she doesn’t love you, you need to leave them. You love them, you are patient, you will do anything for them. You want to make their dreams come true. That’s the reason you stay. Do no stay because you feel alone, stay because you really want them to be happy, and you know in your heart you can make their life better.
You beg them to stay with you, because in your heart, you truly believe, right now, you are the best choice for them. You can help them, encourage them, and help them succeed. It is not about us staying alone. It’s about what is best for them, because you are the one that is carrying the relationship, you will love for both of you. Do not let go.
It is not sick, it’s not selfish, it actually selfless, it is true love. Don’t let them go because they think you are better off without them. They do not know what’s inside your heart and mind. When you love someone, it’s all about them, not you. If they aren’t hurting you, don’t let go.