Music is My Life

by Xenalli "Carmen Scott"
**I'm learning to write songs.**

Music is my life, my medication, it's what keeps me from depression. 
Dancing, spinning, like no one is watching Not looking a dudes, no vodka on my hand. Just having the time I've missed my whole life. 
Music is my life, my medication, it's what keeps me from depression. 
I worked hard all week, I stressed, obsessed, but now, I am not upset. I am not the only one, but this is all about my life.
Music is my life, my medication, it's what keeps me from depression. 
This beat, I am feeling it on my heart, relaxing, forgetting, not having any worries.
Music is my life, my medication, it's what keeps me from depression. 
Ignoring all the fakes thinking about me, I paid all my bills, but I am still sinking in debt. 
is my life, my medication, it's what keeps me from depression. 
Next week, I'm doing it  all over again. I close my eyes and pretend everything is okay. I don't care to express myself.
 Music is my life, my medication, it's what keeps me from depression. 
Even when someone is dead, music will still bring them alive in my heart. I can remember their face and dance for them.
Music is my life, my medication, it's what keeps me from depression. 
I don’t worry about y'all thinking, I'm here and not drinking. I'm enjoying, celebrating, that I got another chance at life today. I'm alive, I am alright.
Music is my life, my medication, it's what keeps me from depression. 

Antisocial Society

We are social animals. Yet some of us, choose to be alone. Why? Have society become so unaccepting that if we think we don't fit the norm, we should be outcast? I think the hell with them, I want to wear kitty ears on my head and go into #starbucks, because I feel good, I WILL. I will sit at starbucks typing from 9am to 12:30pm, because I can. I see cool people, stuck up people, and many friendly faces. Many stories evolving around me, and me creating my own.  Headphones on, listening to music, sitting across my blue eyed angel. Everyone around me, has their own little secrets, their own problems. I am not here to judge you. If you see me, with my headphones on, and you think I am cool, come say hi. Don't be antisocial. Give people compliments if you meant it. Call the barista by their name. Go to Walmart and read their name tag, say hi. Stop being so antisocial. Just live live, you will never know, who you will meet, and what opportunity you might find, by just saying hi.

When do you know is time to settle down?

There comes a time, when you feel like you want stability. You just want to wake up next to someone, and expend time with them. You feel like you can watch them forever. You can sit there, and be in peace, and share your spare time with them, not thinking about anyone else. When that time comes, do you think is time to settle with that person? Sarcasm, jokes, coffee, texting, listening to music, it comes the normal in your life. Your heart pounds at their smile. There is nothing that embarrases you about them. You feel like you can be yourself every day without trying to impress them. You can talk about weird subjects, that you wouldn't think about bringing up to your friends. This person becomes your best friend. You want to be there for them at every moment they need you. They are your priority. Is that when you know its time time to settle down with them? I've met someone like this. I'm 32, I have been married twice. I do not regret anything in my life, not even the bad choices, because they made me appreciate what I have now. Thinking about all my past experiences and partners, I can tell, I am in love. I've loved many people in my life but, I've only been in love with one other man in my life.

When there is nothing you rather do, than to spend time with them, and do the things you love, it is time to settle. I feel so secure, I have no doubts of his loyalty, I can trust him, I believe all his words. I am not embarrassed of my flaws around him. I am not scared to tell the world, this is the man I love. Even if he doesn't feel the same at this very moment about me, that doesn't change my feelings.

He is my role model. He inspires me to be a better person everyday. He is my hero, he has save my soul from drowning in my darkness.

Yes, it is my time, I do not want any other man in my life. I will fight until the end of time for this "happily ever after".